W1/6546

Samuel Whitbread II, Clarges Street, to Elizabeth Grey

6 May 1787

From: 1787 To: 1787

My dear Bessy I promised you that the two first words of my first letter should convince you that I did not mean to be ceremonious; You will now say that I have performed that promise, I trust that you will not add that I have run into the opposite extreme. You have a true & undisputed claim to the appellation from me, & my hand could not refuse writing what my Heart has so long avowed. I shall know by the beginning of your Answer whether you are pleased with familiarity. Put what you will before that Ugly (but what will then be interesting) monosyllable Sam, I shall be contented. I promised you also that I would write from Calais to give an account of our being really gone & out of England & surely it cannot be decried a breach of promise exerting the privilege sooner & writing from Calais & London too. Indeed I am grateful to you for granting me this permission; the saisfaction I feel in scribbling this incoherent Page informs me how bitterly I should have felt, had I not possessed this means of venting my Anxiety, my Happiness my Folly, in short the medley of my present State of Mind. I wish to God I was not ashamed to cry, I could do it & most heartily too; but I repress my tears conscious of so many more substantial reasons for Joy than Sorrow. All is now finished in England for me, at least for the present. I have supped in Portman Square & am just returned, having taken of Mary & Emma; my Father & Sister I am to see again in the Morning. Everything wears the same or rather a more favourable aspect than when you left London. The Old Gentleman can talk of nothing but you; & that in the highest strain of commendation. He is convinced from his visit in Weymouth Street altho' you did not speak a Word that you are precisely what he must like, & how happy he shall be. but going abroad is still proper, will give a Zest to your meeting & be much better, says He. but, he adds, You do not look pleased at going; no wonder I say that I do not laugh the whole two days that pass in taking leave of the people I love the best in the world; but I am infinitely obliged to you for your decision, go without Shadow of doubt or regret, & I shall return at the time appointed the Happiest Man Alive. Then replied He you make me completely so; make the use of your time when abroad, & you shall find me ready to do every thing, & more than I have promised at your return. Such a Conversation as this repays me for every pang he has cost me Nor as circumstances now are, would I omit for any consideration having suffered the painful sensations of those three bitter Weeks. They so feelingly presuade me how well I love, that I cherish them with the fondest care, & retrace them in my mind with more anxious & keen pleasure than the most exalted State of uninterrupted Ease & Tranquillity could possibly have given. Perhaps you will say this is Sophistry, it may be. but if I mistake not, you are a little inclined to this Way of reasoning. If so, I must say that I had rather be a Sophist in your company than a true Philosopher in any other, especially when I should loose so much by the adoption of any other feelings than those I now possess. My Sister after all her kindness past & in spite of the kindness she is now actually exercising to me, in Word & Deed: sent me Yesterday a letter of eight sides of Paper to prove to me that her conduct had proceeded in no degree from the slightest affection to me; no, we had too long lived in perpetual difference of opinion for that to have actuated her; but from the purest principle, from duty, from regard to my Father, from a Wish to have me connected to so worthy a Family & to sum up the whole, from a thorough conviction of your merit & my attachment. She might to be sure have saved herself the trouble of giving the Catalogue of her reasons, & I should have supposed that good will to me had been in the list but as she debars me from any such Idea, I must be contented with her having been so good from any Motives. Her Affection is transferred to You, there fore my demand is upon you & with this Addition, I think unlimited, nay it was so before, because you have an unlimited demand on me. & there is no increasing a thing already infinite. but to the Letter. I took it to Qu. Anne Street, & read it over to Mary & immediately burnt it. this You will I am sure approve; I have taken no notice to her of it, nor shall I; she appears, & is in as good humour as if she had never written it & I am sure I will not disturb that happy state. Writing I find has the same Effect upon me as talking to you, I find myself in better spirits more awake & In short, more every thing I ought to be than when I began. Upon looking at my Watch, a trick you know I have in all Company, aye the very best, I should have dated Monday instead of Sunday, for the day is well advanced, & if I go on digressing & incoherent as I have hitherto I shall sign my hand by day light. but I have one more account to give You. I dined with Sir Harry. was there in time, like him and his Conversation very much; flatter myself (for you know I am vain, & judge when I like that I am liked) that I pleased him; & had an exceeding pleasant dinner with the Uncle two Nephews & Mr Newton. I was seriously much struck & pleased by his politeness to me & as you think him a beauty I will tell you honestly that I think him also one of the handsomest men of his Age I ever saw. he said he was going blind & deaf, but I do not believe him. Now let me enquire how You all do & You in particular, I fear You have had a Cold Journey & are still colder the first Evening at Falladon. If You are so I can not help wishing I were as cold as You. I am sure You will not reproach me with not having handed You into the Coach Yesterday. I would, if I could have been sure of myself. but I was not. a Tuesday Countenance came on, & every person I met was so good as to inform me I was not in good Spirits. Lambton told I looked as if I was going to be hung. Punch as if I had been so. Mary says Pway Bwother do not cwy or I shall cwry too! I am vewy sowwy they are gone. - I left You to wait on my Father, & talk on business. fom Portman Square we went to the Brewhouse & there took leave & I must tell you that parting from a set of Servants firmly attached to my Father's Interest & my own, respectable in their situation, zealous & warm in their Friendship to me, was not without emotion; I left them however with assurance of speedy return & more steady attention to them. Confident in your approbation of such attention. & here give me leave to thank you for the answer you gave when I consulted you on that subject; it confirmed me in an opinion reasoned upon & well digested by me. I am henceforward to consult you on all occasions as my first & foremost Friend, it is my Ambition to have you so. When your sentiments agree with mine it will convince me that I am in the right; should they at any time differ, circumstances must be very strong to make me act contrary to your advice. Give & take unlimited confidence, we have every right to suppose that there exists no sincerer Friends than We are to each other. I must think of drawing my letter to a Conclusion, or Tom & Punch will be here to breakfast before I have thought of going to bed. I shall give Tom this letter to put in the Post; by the bye if there is any danger of losing a letter I think your Berkley Square Messenger would not be a bad entrepot but this You will settle in your Answer which I shall expect with Eagerness at Perrigeaux at Paris. Remember your Shilling when you put your letters in, or I shall lose them. My Library is arranged & it is thought with some Taste. Young [Edward Young, poet, author of Night Thoughts] however has not lost his place. I will read him some times of a Night because I think you may be reading him too. I will say Mad Tom to myself because I cannot sing it to myself; & beg you will not sing it to any body before I come home & now I will give you a Quotation that is truly descriptive of my Feeling Where'en I go, whatever Realms to see My Heart untraselled fondly turns to thee Still to my Bessy turns with ceaseless pain & drags at each remove a lengthning Chain. May 6 No 1 Pardon my pedantry, but I have read them to day, they have struck me, they are true, & I have given them to You. I think the day Falladon may be forwarded in the Almanack certainly not put back. Remember me sincerely to Your, would I could now say Our Father Mother & Grandmother. Tell them the Prince's business has been again a little afloat, but is again likely to be settled as I hear, & collect from what Charles said. I could write on with pleasure, & you could read on I dare say; tho' tired with your Journey. Write to me soon, aye directly. We shall be off at 10 it is now four everything must have a conlusion, you shall hear from Calais. I can hardly bring myself to take leave even in a letter, but I must, so I will say God bless You with all my Soul my dear Bessy I am & depend upon me shall remain Most sincerely & affectionately Yours S. Whitbread

item

Whitbread, Samuel II,
Grey, Elizabeth,
Whitbread, Samuel I,
St John, Emma,
Whitbread, Mary,
Lambton,
Monson, Thomas,
Punch,
Young, Edward,
Grey, Charles

Paris, Calais, travel, poetry