X95/291/117

From: Caroline Sworder, Westmill Bury; To: Thomas Sworder, Hertford;

16 Oct1857

From: 1857 To: 1857

From: Caroline Sworder, Westmill Bury; To: Thomas Sworder, Hertford "I should have answered your letter earlier but that my heart was so much affected by the anxiety & fatigue consequent upon this sad accident that I have scarcely felt equal to concentrating my thoughts, so I made John promise to let you hear how our invalids were progressing (as you kindly expressed a wish to know) until I felt better. I am glad to tell you that we have excellent accounts still from Retford. George is not only improving as rapidly as we wish, but seems so very comfortable. Polly had been obliged to have leeches on her leg, but she wrote last night that she had been with Charles to a dance the night previous & was no worse for it and she & Mama think of leaving George on Saturday to go to Harrogate for a few days. Lucy is at home & much better than I expected she would be, having borne her journey home very well, so that as far as our family is concerned, we really have cause for very great thankfulness. Though in a strange place, they are by no means solitary for they have lots of visitors & have already had several invitations to dine out. Indeed the kindness they have met with universally has been so marked that we can but feel a most ardent desire to be on kindly terms with all our fellow creatures. Indeed it seems this trial was sent to prove to us how much more genuine feeling there is in the world, than we give it credit for, though perhaps only in cases of distress, is it called forth and finding this to be so, why should we not give our relatives credit for kindly feelings towards us even though their actions may not appear to us to deserve it. It is well known to all their friends that Uncle & Aunt Smitheman have an unusual method of shewing affection. We all know it by experience, for often when they are apparently most unkind, we discover they are doing or meditating some benefit to us & though we all would rather it should be done in a different manner, yet when we know how really kind they are in their actions, we learn to overlook the uncomfortable prelude. I cannot pretend to judge between you and them doubtless when people are exasperated there is wrong on each side, for whichever side may be the right originally becomes wrong when anger is aroused, from that circumstance but, my dear Uncle, do not be offended if I again remind you that to err is human, to forgive divine and in a quarrel whichever side has most right can best afford to be generous. Do not, dear Uncle, dwell upon the events of ten years past, As you say we cannot recall them to spend them better, more happily, than they have been spent, perchance, but the future is before us & why should we embitter it, by recalling the past & nursing angry feelings which only corrode all our other sources of joy & comfort. As I said before, not one thing have we knowingly done to cause you displeasure. You would not have wished us to abstain from visiting those friends, who, whatever may be their peculiarities, have always promoted our wellbeing to the best of their power. To them I & my sisters consider ourselves indebted for the blessing of a good education, for it was through their diligent enquiries, a most excellent school was provided for us and this I consider a debt not easily repaid, though for a long time, I thought but lightly of it and I am sure if you would but forget what has passed the last few years, you could look back to a time when you also recd much kindness from the same source & I am quite sure your children might (if you allowed them the opportunity) have the same to say in time to come, for Aunt is very fond of children & to her having never had any of her own, I quite think we may trace her peculiarities. Although most anxious to be on the same friendly terms as formerly with you, Aunt & your dear children, we could not sacrifice the providence of duty, nor should we ever feel quite at ease amongst those who regarded with bitterness those whom we feel bound to respect & love. Shall I not find in your own home, one to advocate my cause? If I judge aright from what I know formerly of her kind disposition your own dear Wife would also say forget & forgive. I know you would & rightly, feel a slight to her which to yourself you would have overlooked but I am sure it must make her unhappy to think she should be the cause of such a breach in the family, wherever the blame may rest. Your own kind heart too, if you will but listen to it will say the same thing. The voice of conscience, to quench which is to reject God's guidance, speaks the same language. It is a hard & a bitter pill to swallow long cherished grievances, but it smoothes one's path very much. Few have strength to perform the difficult task, at least until they have undergone some trials. May you, dear Uncle, be one of the happy few, who are drawn by gratitude for mercies received to follow the example of Him whose mission on earth was to restore "peace & good will amongst men". Forgive me, dear Uncle, if you think I have exceeded a niece's duty in writing this. I have more time to think than you have in your busy life but had it not been for this period of weakness, I should not have thought either I fear. Oh may you never require the chastening rod of affliction to teach you to view these things aright. Again I must apologize for the length of my scrawl & hoping you will receive it, as it is intended, and with kind love to Aunt & all my cousins",

item

Sworder, Thomas,
Sworder, Caroline,
Sworder, John,
Sworder, George,
Sworder, Mary Ann,
Sworder, Charles,
Sworder, Lucy,
Smitheman, John

family correspondence, railway accidents, Retford, leeches, Harrogate, family disputes, injury