Z699/173

Hannah Southall to Priscilla Strange 1 May 1838 Leominster 5th Mo 1st 1838 My dear Friend Thy truly kind and most welcome letter reached me just before quitting Malvern; having previously determined to postpone my visit to Evesham and proceed homewards direct where I was favoured to arrive on 7th day. Since my return my Husband and I have been able to confer together on the subject of your very kind and generous proposition relative to our dear Tertius, and regards our own feelings would most gladly have met it to the extent of your suggestions. Altho' the indulgence so gratuitously offered him with such a sacrifice on the score of business is indeed far beyond what we could have looked for, but for which we do feel very much obliged. With regard however to coming home immediately, some serious objections arise, which it seems needful I should state to thee tho' the subject is a very painful one to us, nothing of the kind, to our knowledge, having ever occurred in our family before. During my Husband's occasional absence from home with me at Malvern one of our Youths, the son of our Independent Minister apparently of quiet steady habits, we find has been guilty of gross indiscretions, getting out after the closing of the shop into loose company thereby bringing upon himself great bodily suffering & disgrace - under which he is now labouring. As we cannot at present remove him from the house, nor very easily supply his place in the business - we are as thou wilt suppose involved in much perplexity and trial, and under such circumstances could not comfortably receive our dear boy & make his home just now as desirable & agreeable to him as we would wish. It therefore seems best to defer his visit, perhaps till the time we had originally looked forward to when his brother and sisters would join him, in the mean time to accept (if suitable) the kind proposal for his meeting his Father in London to attend the Yearly Meeting.- This arrangement feels particularly pleasant to me, as it would afford dear T the opportunity of seeing his Aunt S.Hurst - who with her husband is intending to be in London. My brother E.P.S. taking also a part of their lodgings in Dyers Court I feel assured they would kindly invite their nephew occasionally, and such interests may probably be productive of much advantage. My dear Sister is one who has long felt tenderly interested for my person, and she has always expressed a great tenderness for dear T. of late particularly. At M. above I had the satisfaction of seeing her for a time alone, when they called on me as they returned home from our General M. at Worcester. I then gave her some hints how it was faring with our dear boy, and my anxieties on his behalf. They very sweetly & kindly entered into the subject and I believe would rejoice to be of use to him in any way that may offer - I depend much upon her observation & experience and I know of no one better qualified to counsel & direct, she seemed to feel with one the caution that is needful in taking any steps that might tend to unsettle or direct his mind from the right workings which, if patiently abode under, may ultimately lead to great good - In a letter I have since received from her she remarks "I can hardly see the wisdom of taking risks of unsettlement in bringing him home before the time mooted. That would also seem somewhat like distrust of the Heavenly Shepherd thro' whom dear John has in his present situation been mercifully visited, and who is, I doubt not, seeking still further to hearten and to instruct him. It is not as if he were under any undue excitement, or much depression apparent." I have, my dear friend, given thee this extract in my sister's own words, in perfect freedom and confidence - and as my own mind had previously taken the {decision}, it proved strengthening to me, and leads me to hope we shall be found adopting the wiser course, in postponing the anticipated pleasure. I am fully aware of thy truly kind solicitude and gladly would relieve thee my dear friend of part of thy responsibilities which I fear at times feel almost too oppressive, but I still hope thou wilt be enabled to support every burden with supplies of that strength which only can prove sufficient - I must not now make much allusion to the hint of changing habitation with your son and daughter - no doubt you will do that which seems fittest & best - and I am sure I could most heartily desire for thee some release from those cares which thou hast so ably & cheerfully borne for many years. I cannot doubt thee a little further removed from rest or absence of action.- that thy anxious mind will still take an interest in the welfare spiritually & temporally of the many persons committed to your care - directing by thy long tried influence the labours of others but dear Priscilla will find it no doubt a great change - and sometimes feel the cares no light matter - I hope her precious little one may prove thriving, and that strength proportioned to her day may be granted to her - Please to remember me most kindly to her and her Husband - I have been thinking it rather doubtful whether J. has clothes quite suited for the Y.M. - and his Father intends writing to him on this and other subjects - May I trouble thee to confer a little with him respecting his apparel.- My Husband will send cloth for him to have made up at Ampthill - If T. will send him the quantity we need and whether he wishes his suit all alike or trousers of some different material - also as to colour - if he has any choice - I just state particulars to thee as men are not apt to think of minutiae - as to his shirt collars - I should be obliged to act as thou sees best - I certainly do not like his leaving these off, if he does not see it really required of him - but if any other sort of collars would please him better, he would get some made and have them sewed in his shirts - I should like him to look neat - tho' far from wishing to interfere with any right scruples - Should he wish white instead of black neck kerchiefs - he can have these also made - in all these matters it will be truly kind if thou wilt advise him - as I cannot do well at this distance - I regret much our letter missing yesterday's post - but my Husband's engagements prevented his making the articles he wished for dear T. - which thou wilt please to hand him - I fear my writing is difficult to read - my paper or ink is in fault I can scarcely get the ink to run - It seems due to us just to add relative to the mortifying affair I have alluded to - that my Husband left our partner in charge of the family who lodged in the house - and was in his quarters by ten-ish - and that our servants are serious steady young women - having lived some years with us - It is distressing to find that with every precaution that seems needful - for my J.S. is very strict in his requirements - we cannot always guard young persons from the temptations of the evening - It is some alleviation to the trial that the youth is not one of our society - and we hope his example has not hurt the others - We shall hope to hear again soon - but I could not think of troubling thee to write unless I can spare thee a little soon - but I must acknowledge thy kind letters convey so much in a letter - that they are the most satisfactory as regards the information I seek. - With our united love to thy self and Husband - I am thy truly affectionate & obliged friend H.Southall. My health I am thankful to say is improved by my late excursion - the air at Malvern is so invigorating.

1 May 1838

From: 1838 To: 1838

No. of pieces: 1

paper

item

Southall, Hannah,
Strange, Priscilla,
Southall, John Tertius,
Hurst, S.

disease, social activities, sexuality, sexually transmitted diseases, clothing, health, Malvern, Evesham, Leominster, Worcester