Reference
Z699/171
Title
Hannah Southall to Ann May 21 April 1838
Malvern 4th 21st 1838
My dear Friend,
It is painful to me that so much time should have passed since the date of our dear J.T.S's letter with thy truly kind addition to it, but I hope your suspense would be relieved by the information which was conveyed in our last communication, of my absence from home and it so happened that my dear Husband had also left Leominster to join me here, previously to our going to Worcester to attend our General Meeting held on 4th day. On his return home next morning he found dear T.'s letter, which was forwarded to me at Malvern yesterday, tho' not in sufficient time to reply by first post.
Today I find there will be no post for London so that necessarily more time must elapse, which is a trying circumstance. I hope however no material disappointment or inconvenience may arise from it.
As we have written to dear T. so recently I prefer addressing this to thee for indeed my dear friend thy communication has introduced my mind into so much feeling and I may add conflict & embarrassment that I cannot but wish to express myself fully to thee, consulting rather thy judgement than my own as to our proceedings.
In the first place I may tell thee that there has not been in any of our dear boy's letters a single expression save in one to his sister during his indisposition in the Winter indicating the slightest depression of spirits, or imparting even to myself the smallest hint of what appears to be passing in his mind.
It is evident however that tender examples still prevail by his having lately declined in a delicate & feeling manner a little present intended for him from his affectionately attached Sister, of a watch guard of her own making. He does not wish to hurt her feelings he says, but had rather not accept anything of the kind (that is of "fancy work"). I mention this in confidence to thee. His dear Sister has made but little remark on the subject- but seems to ponder the thing in her heart - and feels I believe still more tenderly for him. I have not thought it best to make her acquainted with [what] I know - rather wishing that such disclosures may be made between themselves when they meet in the simplicity which it seems so desirable to encourage in young persons.
I have been longing much for some time to know how matters fared with our dear boy, and thou wilt easily suppose that I anxiously look forward to the time when we may hope to have him for a little while under our own roof, but not being prepared to expect this comfort quite so soon as would appear to be desirable on his own account I do feel difficulties which I know not how to arrange without my dear Husband to advise with and a little farther communication with thee on the subject.
My T.S. having left it to me to reply to your kind proposition according to the best of my judgement, I will just simply lay before thee how we are circumstanced at the present time - and what our views were with respect to Tertius's visit to us - if such had met your convenience & approval -
Perhaps T. may have mentioned to thee my having been much indisposed for some weeks. when so far recovered as to be able to have him it was thought needful that I should have change of air, and Malvern being a place of easy access, and near our dear girls, who are at school at Worcester - I brought a servant with me to this place - having their company also for a fortnight before our General Meeting, intending them to have returned home, but my health continued so feeble my friends have advised me to remain another week and it was then proposed that I should spend a week at Evesham at my brother Richard Burlingham's home. This would bring the time near the Yearly Meeting, which my Husband proposes attending, and would be absent perhaps a fortnight. Thus there seems to be but a short interval in which his Parents would be home together - and his dear brother & sisters still at school - Their vacation occurring in the 6th Month we had looked forward, if it had been convenient to you, to some time between the 6th and 8th Months as best suited to have our dear Tertius, hoping to make our dear circle complete.
It will be a grievous disappointment to the dear children to lose the society of their beloved brother - and he would I think feel his home rather flat and dull without them. I had anticipated some advantage in their mixing together in several points of view. I may also add I was rather particularly desirous that dear T. should come under the personal observation of his Uncle E.P.S. during his visit home, whose kind judicious care as an elder I have ventured to solicit, having to a certain extent apprised him of the state of our dear boy's mind - He is likely to attend the G.M. and would I think be inclined to visit Ampthill either on his journey there or back -
Now my dear and truly kind friend, having thus stated to thee our views and wishes relative to this subject so interesting to us, but the which I fear involves thee in much painful anxiety, it only remains for me to request of thee thy candid guidance and kind assistance in determining what is best to be done, whether the case is so far urgent as to set aside every consideration which I have mentioned, and to make it desirable that I should alter my arrangements which I could easily do by giving up Evesham and meeting dear T. at Worcester to return home with me - or to defer his coming till after the Y.M. at least.
It would be a great relief to us if thou would with thy dear Husband and E.Strange and soon let me know what your united opinion is, everything must then give way to what really appears for the best, and I do feel that we are bound to act agreeably to the recommendation of such tenderly interested and judicious friends.
Thy maternal care my beloved friend I wish most gratefully to acknowledge and tho' our dear boy does not seem at present able to impart as freely to thee his secret thoughts and conflicts, as perhaps we could wish, but I cannot but believe that he will treasure up in his heart his manifold obligations to thee - and I trust in a future day give greater proofs of his gratitude. I have been ready to fear whether amongst the mental trials he is passing thro' his daily occupations are duly attended to - I should much regret that any inconvenience or loss should be added to what has already been unavoidable during the Winter - it is a comfort to find that his health is good and I hope all will be well with our dear boy after a while, now even for a season he may be in sorrow & heaviness. If this work be indeed that of the Holy Spirit in his heart - we cannot doubt if simple faithfulness be maintained, that good must be the result - and oh! that the blessing may descend not only on him - but also on those who are endeavouring to further the precious seed - May it be preserved from the withering influence of evil counsel or example -
I must not allow myself the expression which my heart would dictate, my ability for using the pen being so feeble, both mentally & bodily that I have attempted very little in this way for some weeks - I trust my strength in future may gradually increase - but at present I am obliged to refrain from much exertion of any kind - I do not wish dear T. should feel at all uneasy about me - as there is no real occasion and much explanation is not needful -
I am truly glad to hear the favourable reports of dear Priscilla and her little treasure - Tertius mentions the baby as tho' he felt her an object of interest - and such I trust she will prove, not forgetting how uncertain all such blessings are to your little circle. My kind love to both thy son and daughter.
I shall feel anxious for thy reply my dear friend to this sadly bungling letter - which I fear thou wilt scarcely be able to make anything of - yet I hope I have sufficiently laid the matter before thee - as not to make it very difficult for thee who can judge best to decide for us - and here I feel quite willing to leave it.
I have at Malvern this week the company of three of my nieces from Evesham - instead of the dear girls, who are gone back to school. My husband leaving together next 6th day which I think affords time for an answer to this place - the address is Adelaide House, Great Malvern, nr Worcester or if not convenient to write so soon a letter may be addressed to my brother Richard Burlingham, Evesham.
This I calculate will reach thee on 3rd day perhaps not till 4th day - if so I doubt a letter finding me here -
I trust thou wilt excuse the trouble I have given thee in writing - Unless thy attention is not now otherwise so much occupied - and I believe thou wilt kindly make all due allowances for me - With love to thy Husband and self -
and with much satisfaction I remain thy affectionate friend H.Southall.
My very dear love to Tertius - he will probably soon hear from me again.
Seal : A squirrel sitting up on branch.
Samuel May Postmarks : D GREAT MALVERN
for Ampthill PAID AP22
Ann May Beds. 23AP23 1838
Date free text
21 April 1838
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From: 1838 To: 1838
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No. of pieces: 1
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